Unfathomable

I am a big day dreamer. Always have been. It's a huge part of who I am. I used to spend hours on end as a little girl just imagining things, creating creatures from the unknown--creatures others considered unfathomable.

Growing older, I've realized I am unfathomable. I've always been different from those around me. And I always thought it was because something was wrong with me. I grew up hating myself.

Now; 26 years of age, I'm still different. Quite different. But guess what? There is nothing wrong with me.

All throughout my life, I had been trained to go by what everyone else did. Follow, follow, follow. After a chaotic yet interesting divorce, I, for the first time in my life explored.


Discovered.

And I realized there is a whole world out there waiting for me.

I could live. 

I could love.

I had control.




I've always let labels define me. And that's played a big part of why I hated who I was. I'm a writer. Words stick in my head. I spell them out in my mind continually. Words like, "good" or "bad," "evil" and "wrong." I think that's why the verbal abuse has hit me so much harder than the physical.

But, I've turned the tables. You push me, guess what? I've learned I can push back. And that's how I discovered I can love myself and love others at the same time.